la voz en mi cabeza

Baby blue angel

Wears a yellow dress

I set myself on fire

But she’s never impressed

Her baby blue eyes

Tell me to try harder

Fuck, i’m doing my best

Baby blue angel is getting tired

Loads a gun

Puts me to rest

My baby blue angel

Always wants more

Not less

Baby blue angel

My baby blue angel

-

False prophet

On my sacred land

Nothing grows

where you

Once laid

I was barefoot on your perfect floors

A ghost inside your house.

You went on with your life

And I stayed in that room

-

Jsuis pas un fils de pute mais la vie s’tune putain

Le diable j’lai rencontré mais jy ai jamais serré la main

j’ai jamais fait d’quoi a un autre qui méritait pas

À genoux dans l’église jai jamais dit que j’tais un Saint,

Sur l’corps d’un amour chargé à l’heure

j’recherche la chaleur

perché au bout d’son sein.

Si tu regardes dans mes yeux

Peut-tu voir la douleur?

J’passe mes jours à dérive,

Dans chaque verre

j’cherche mon sauveur.

-

I remember that night

Staring at a distance you didn’t care

Because caring is for the weak,

did you hear my heart skip its last beat.

you were everything,

but kindness is a stranger

and home was never one.

Run your porcelain skin

under my bruised hands

I wanna feel again.

-

i’m not a good person love,

I fucked you too many times under false hope

My fingers sink in your skin

holding on to something that will never be

If I let go now

There will be nothing to remember

strangers in their right place,

like summer falls to rain.

-

She’s like that stepped on coke you get on main street any other day,

that cheap love you find in a bathroom stall.

You know, that short lived high you chase bump after bump, she kind of tastes like that.

That mockingbird type of love,

where you’re fucked from the beginning

but slowly killing yourself in the process

makes it all worth while.

It’s not weakness but a fake smile and a loveless bed is better than nothing sometimes.

That’s just how it goes.

-

The phone doesn’t ring

And

Rings forever for the others.

How did you become

This ghost

Searching for her

In empty rooms.

Behind loose doors.

-

Broken hearts

Never really heal.

They fake a beat

Skipping to the sound of her goodbyes.

-

Bukowski was an animal I know,

But he once wrote about this loneliness,

“so great you could see it in the slow movement of the hands of a clock”

Only words in a book,

Until it hits you.

You get dressed,

put on your shoes,

check for your keys.

Then you realize.

You have nowhere to go.

No one to see.

You stand in the doorway,

Staring into an emptiness

Reflecting the feeling inside.

-

A knockoff Eames chair

In the middle of her room

A curated life

For everyone to see

A knockoff Eames chair

That’s not real

Just like Her

A beautiful lie

Used for comfort

Just like Her.

-

I like the quiet moment

right after she leaves.

Its always a goodbye

sealed on her lips

My sheets still smell of her,

smeared with sweat and cum.

I know she finds love

In someone else’s bed.

Someone else has the right words.

But im used to it.

I give them what i never had.

Get it for cheap at the corner store.

maybe one of them will stay.

maybe one of them will care.

-

She tastes just like cheap wine

A bittersweet feeling on your tongue

I feel used very time

But my mind is long gone

I can’t remember

The last time it felt real

Its okay

Soon it will be Fall and then Winter

Outside will feel like inside

Maybe i’ll still be around

For one last ride

-

How can you let die

The flower you once held,

So tight

It made your hands bleed.

-

Its still raining.

But I can’t let them see it.

I have to be somewhere

But I stay right here.

The door frame isn’t big enough

To let the sorrow leave.

A sad song is all you are

Until you can’t play anymore

Then its too late.

And

“There is nothing worse than too late”

-

For love came

And love left

Unaware of what

I should of said

Words

trapped inside my mind

Prisoner of a jail

I built with my own hands

-

I always get the broken

the whore,

The borderline,

The daddy issues,

The liars,

the “ im just waiting for him to be done with all the others.”

They all come and go

cum and go.

Or sometime they stay for a minute

until they heal and im bled dry.

Use me I don’t care

Until I do.

Then I drink myself closer to death.

-

Ice cream.

Just like ice cream.

Sweet flavoured water

Melts on your tender hands,

and down your thighs

Let me clean your body

With the Devil’s tongue.

I can’t play nice

With all these bad thoughts

Be mine for a minute

Sweet flower,

Let me hold you

Until I crush your petals

Until your thorns makes me bleed

Drown me in your love

To help me seek peace.

There is always a fire

When I seek refuge in you.

Who broke you apart

Before I could get to you

Sweet flower.

-

Blue birds.

They fill me up inside,

When your spring starts blooming.

Blue Birds

Who only drink from your waters.

Blue birds

Born in your wilderness.

They fill up the sky in your eyes.

Can you see them love?

They long for the summer you bring

When your clothes touch the ground.

Can you feel them love?

When winter comes

At the end of your lips,

They build a nest between your thighs.

Blue birds.

Can you hear them love?

Blue birds,

They sing,

Only for You.

-

She puts hope inside my head

Then plays with my hair.

Fucks me once

Leaves me twice.

Wild horses can’t take it slow

But they always comes back

To the river.

She always needs more

And when my words aren’t enough

I reach deeper inside

Her voicemail is full

Of things I should of said

It’s never too late

Until she comes around.

Sweet flower,

Melts like sugar on my tongue.

-

They always judge everything I do

Like I don’t know im hurting myself

Curated life for their curated friends

You thrown a bunch of words around

And im supposed to take them all in

Like impressing me makes such a difference

When everything around you is a lie

I have to deal with my own shit

So I dont need to be sucked in yours

Too many people acting like we never talked

or dismissing me when we do

I don’t want anything from you

except truth.

My sadness is not romantic

nor is it for you to fix

And they ask me why I wasn’t at the party

When im not even here.

Short lived fame

For short lived people.

I was happy with nothing

Walking barefoot to nowhere.

And they ask me why I wasn’t at the party.

-

Do I ever truly love

Or know what I need

I hold every one of them

Until my hands bleed

But these days I can’t feel

The phone, the door, the water on my skin

Chemistry makes me numb

Where are my keys

And the time I wasted

livin’ a dream

Im too fucked up to hear

When they walk away

So I leave the door open

Hoping they forgot something

on their way.

-

Que todas son putas

es la ley primera

Y sin una llega por dentro

al final

te devoran todas por afuera.

-

Her porcelain skin

covered with my love.

I throw a towel at her hand,

Wait for her to leave.

But she stays,

Wrapped around the sheets.

She reads between the lines

Of all my excuses

Where does time go

When she opens her eyes

And floods the room with the ocean

she holds inside.

Blue.

Like the sky, like Picasso when everything died.

Blue.

Like Yves Klein and everything in his life.

Blue.

Like the rose she held so tight.

-

I write about them

at noon and at night

Can love be real

If it wasn’t born in a fight?

Never the same beginning

But always the same end.

Can love be real

If it wasn’t born in a fight?

They tell me they need time

To find what’s missing.

The last piece always lays

In a strangers bed.

Can love be real

If it wasn’t born in a fight?

How can you write so many words

But never have the right ones.

Can love be real

If it wasn’t born in a fight?

Always so close

But out of reach.

Was I ever there

When i’m not even here.

How does it feel to be alive

When this doesn’t even feel real.

Can love be real

If it wasn’t born in a fight?

I could never tell

Because I will never know.

I remember where I fell,

But not where to go.

Can love be real

If it wasn’t born in a fight?

Loose ends
Fill my pockets

repeat.

Close my hands
Hit the wall

repeat.

She brought rain to the summer
Wait for the fall

stop.

Was there ever something
Nothing at all
Nothing at all

Repeat.

I can’t find my phone
Another missed call

ok.

Was it love or the drugs
That night in the stalls

stop.

Always too numb
Just another carpet in the hall.

.


She’ll Never Leave / Elek